Sunday, May 23, 2010

Documentation of Wuthering Heights Show

Onto the Stage and Into Your Lap

Hello my dahlings and demons. My last show just last night was something new a conjured up. Inspired by "Wuthering Heights" by Kate Bush, and covered by The Puppini Sisters, I did my own inturpretation. I dressed up like an owl and came in through the window.

Hear, have a listen:

So I let someone take a few snap shots and here they are! Thought the only way to fight Pea's uprising was to really add some flash for audience; I really am talking about the costume candy.

I can't wait to get more comfortable, curl up on the couch with my rum n' coke and smoke a cigar. Oh this moring I was out by the bus on my way to work. I heard a nearby Minnonite Church singing. It was kinda jazzy not the kinda Church singing that makes your jaw lock.

The point is you can shape me like a pretzel if you feed me doughnuts. I mean, I keep my shape but the only encouragement I need is a box of those glazed beakens of circular tasteyness.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Flashback

Girling It Up

"Oh here comes the bruises on my knees. Thank St.Ives I'm home! If that boss a mine makes me do one more pole dance I am going to vomit out my bottom..."

There should be more fairness in this world for strippers. The audience gets to see flesh, and all I am is flesh outta patience! Well no way am I putting up with this change... He needs to know his place- I'm trying to give an original presentation and I really need my style to explode all over that audience. I need to give them something original.

All my damned boss does is try and make me kiss ass for Pea Petite... well she ain't so hot! She might as well be up there with a lampshade on her head.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Another Day at the Coffee Table

So I was sitting on the couch and said "Pick up your dishes." Repsonse, "Yes they really need a good soak."

Me, "Well maybe we can settle this and make out instead."

Response,"Time will pass regardless of whether we do that or not. Let's not."

Me, "Oh common sugar face, I'm board and there's nothing but dishes. Plus I need to break-in my new and very old dress."

Response, "Maybe just a glass of milk, then?"

Me, "I don't want to compromise on that... Rum and coke, hold the coke."

Re, " Hmm. tempting but toss in something less pathetic. And work on the new routine?"

Me, "Don't push it sticky bun."

Re, "That sounds good but it needs more health appeal."

Me, "Fine. Rum, with coke and I'll have a stick of celery afterwards."

Re, "Do you need a cigarette?"

Me, "Yes mam! Go fetch me some."

Re, "..."

Me, "Common get off your bottom."

Re, "...?#*@!"

Me, "Oh right sorry..."

Response, "Quit talkin' to yerself."

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year New

Oh Happy New Years my lovelies. Yes yes. Give me some time to upload some holiday cheers and spirits. Right now I'm back and forth fighting for my original act and not letting my manager make me change it.

I am no cupcake. My act will catch on I swear it! Soon the theatre will be booming.