Sunday, May 16, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Girling It Up
"Oh here comes the bruises on my knees. Thank St.Ives I'm home! If that boss a mine makes me do one more pole dance I am going to vomit out my bottom..."
There should be more fairness in this world for strippers. The audience gets to see flesh, and all I am is flesh outta patience! Well no way am I putting up with this change... He needs to know his place- I'm trying to give an original presentation and I really need my style to explode all over that audience. I need to give them something original.
All my damned boss does is try and make me kiss ass for Pea Petite... well she ain't so hot! She might as well be up there with a lampshade on her head.
There should be more fairness in this world for strippers. The audience gets to see flesh, and all I am is flesh outta patience! Well no way am I putting up with this change... He needs to know his place- I'm trying to give an original presentation and I really need my style to explode all over that audience. I need to give them something original.
All my damned boss does is try and make me kiss ass for Pea Petite... well she ain't so hot! She might as well be up there with a lampshade on her head.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Another Day at the Coffee Table
So I was sitting on the couch and said "Pick up your dishes." Repsonse, "Yes they really need a good soak."
Me, "Well maybe we can settle this and make out instead."
Response,"Time will pass regardless of whether we do that or not. Let's not."
Me, "Oh common sugar face, I'm board and there's nothing but dishes. Plus I need to break-in my new and very old dress."
Response, "Maybe just a glass of milk, then?"
Me, "I don't want to compromise on that... Rum and coke, hold the coke."
Re, " Hmm. tempting but toss in something less pathetic. And work on the new routine?"
Me, "Don't push it sticky bun."
Re, "That sounds good but it needs more health appeal."
Me, "Fine. Rum, with coke and I'll have a stick of celery afterwards."
Re, "Do you need a cigarette?"
Me, "Yes mam! Go fetch me some."
Re, "..."
Me, "Common get off your bottom."
Re, "...?#*@!"
Me, "Oh right sorry..."
Response, "Quit talkin' to yerself."
Me, "Well maybe we can settle this and make out instead."
Response,"Time will pass regardless of whether we do that or not. Let's not."
Me, "Oh common sugar face, I'm board and there's nothing but dishes. Plus I need to break-in my new and very old dress."
Response, "Maybe just a glass of milk, then?"
Me, "I don't want to compromise on that... Rum and coke, hold the coke."
Re, " Hmm. tempting but toss in something less pathetic. And work on the new routine?"
Me, "Don't push it sticky bun."
Re, "That sounds good but it needs more health appeal."
Me, "Fine. Rum, with coke and I'll have a stick of celery afterwards."
Re, "Do you need a cigarette?"
Me, "Yes mam! Go fetch me some."
Re, "..."
Me, "Common get off your bottom."
Re, "...?#*@!"
Me, "Oh right sorry..."
Response, "Quit talkin' to yerself."
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year New
Oh Happy New Years my lovelies. Yes yes. Give me some time to upload some holiday cheers and spirits. Right now I'm back and forth fighting for my original act and not letting my manager make me change it.
I am no cupcake. My act will catch on I swear it! Soon the theatre will be booming.
I am no cupcake. My act will catch on I swear it! Soon the theatre will be booming.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Make-up
Noticed I missed a month did ya? Well here's some oral entertainment to say I'm sorry; okee??
Ya da da da yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa da ya da da -dda da!!!
Ya da da da yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa da ya da da -dda da!!!
Calm Down
Oops... really didn't mean to squish the bitch. Her fault for standing where she shouldn't be. But seriously. So I may owe her family a little money? How much she worth anyways? Ninety nine cents? Maybe a quart a spoiled milk?
Goodness once there was a sale on choco choco milk at the corner store. Ninety nine cents each. Underneath there was a sign "Limit of Six."
So I just went back seven more times. What? Like that slut evaa limited herself to six. Maybe two at once! Maybe one was someone else's quart ya never know.
Bitch. I don't regret it. Sides I was in a hurry I needed my nightly smoke. Odd thing though; when I swung that door open and saw the aweful red painting I made of her on the showing window, my first thought was not to run. Instead the first thing in my head was fresh tobacco for my pipe.
Done.
Must get home to my Cream Puff, NOW.
Goodness once there was a sale on choco choco milk at the corner store. Ninety nine cents each. Underneath there was a sign "Limit of Six."
So I just went back seven more times. What? Like that slut evaa limited herself to six. Maybe two at once! Maybe one was someone else's quart ya never know.
Bitch. I don't regret it. Sides I was in a hurry I needed my nightly smoke. Odd thing though; when I swung that door open and saw the aweful red painting I made of her on the showing window, my first thought was not to run. Instead the first thing in my head was fresh tobacco for my pipe.
Done.
Must get home to my Cream Puff, NOW.
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